All that I am


“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

This quote from Abraham Lincoln describes exactly how I feel about my mom.

I hadn’t told my mother about my blog. I wasn’t trying to keep it from her, but I didn’t want her to feel worse than she already did about my health challenge. I’m her youngest. It’s been a running joke that I was referred to as “the baby” even when my folks talked about dropping me off at college. I know my mom feels any struggles I experience. One of my siblings mentioned the blog in passing, and my mother jumped on it. “I would like to read it,” she told my sister. Naturally. My mom doesn’t like to be left out of anything.

With a big family, there is often some strategizing when it comes to motherly matters. My sister and I talked about it some, and I asked my husband’s and daughter’s opinions. My daughter Mary is very close to her Grandma Glo, so I appreciated her view. She would be with her on Friday to take her to her hair appointment and then to do errands. Mary suggested she explain her own reaction to reading the blog posts and let my mother decide.

“I would still like to read them,” she told Mary. So Mary sat with her and helped her find the posts on her iPad. She told me she had to keep passing the tissues. ”But Mom,” she told me, “She really valued the chance to understand what you’ve been going through.”

My phone rang early Saturday morning. “Hi Linda. I just wanted to thank you so much for letting me read what you wrote. I wanted to call you yesterday, but I thought I would be too emotional.” I tried to speak, but couldn’t.

Throughout my life, in challenging times, my mother knows how to fill space. “I’m so thankful that you shared it with me. I never realized all you had been going through.” I still couldn’t talk, but through some tears, let her know how much I appreciated her call.

I’d known all along that my mom would read the blog. I’d also known all along that she could handle it. Would want to handle it. She’s a good mother. A natural caregiver.

That’s my mom. She doesn’t shy away from things that are difficult.

Like mother, like daughter.

18 thoughts on “All that I am

  1. Ok….. that was intense. But not surprising in the world of mother-daughter relationships. Glad she read it, why not share with our first teacher of unconditional love? M-B


  2. Sis,
    When we were growing up, it was mom who was always fearless when one of us or the neighbor kids got hurt. I remember her telling me that Aunt Olga had to go sit down when Rich had fallen down the stairs and cut his forehead. So I’m not surprised to see the depth of mom’s support during this crazy time. We are all here for you and I certainly appreciate the chance to read you blog too. I can’t say that I am able to read it dry-eyed, but my kids tease me about being the water works in our family so there you go. I told my men’s ministry group how your first chemo session went and they were happy to hear. They are in this for the long haul too.


  3. Ok…..this one, this was my first cry….because I know everyone involved, and witnessed the beginning of it happening, when Mary brought your mom to the salon, for her hair appointment. It was touching and beautiful to see Mary prepare her grandmother, to deal with what she knew too well, would be a difficult read. She’s an amazing girl ….also “like mother like daughter”. You have a very strong “support sandwich”.


  4. It’s clear from reading this one of the sources of your strength … you are blessed with a most awesome family. They deserve you and you deserve them ❤️


  5. Love the strength and resilience your mom has .. your bond runs deep. The ability to share your blog with her not only enlightens her, it relieves some of the emotional burden on you … talking can be so hard, and it will allow her to choose how to best support you, to be mom in the most comforting way.
    May you feel the warmth of her hug and the wisdom of her words along this journey .. the women in your family are strong .. rely on them.


  6. So powerful. I can relate to your mom. As a mom you want to be there and support your children in good times and bad. I can relate to you. As a daughter you want to spare your mom as much pain as you can. You will be each other’s comfort and strength. It is a special bond between mothers and daughters.


  7. A mom will be ther for you no matter how something affects her but she will stand by you as your support beam and love you unconditionally . She is the one person you can always count on …she will always have your back ….❤️


  8. I know how I feel when I, just a friend, read your blog. Can’t imagine what it would be like to be your mom or another family member. Moms always want to know what their kids are doing, feeling especially during tough times. They want to help, and they can just by listening and being there. Knowing that your have your mother’s support and love, helps you to be strong!

    The blog is so great. It is good for you to get it out. It helps to deal with all of your feelings. This makes you stronger. Also it helps people know what you are feeling and dealing with. People want to know but don’t always know how to approach a topic or want you to have to be talking about it all the time, making this who you are right now.

    Just remember you are on the path of recovery and this is part of it! The scariest part is the unknown, but you can get through it all.


  9. Linda,
    Mom didn’t surprise us……………..she is amazing. I always thought I got my strength from Dad, and warmth from Mom. Since being at the Cape I would find excuses to come home for a weekend to visit. We are so fortunate to have a large family so there are plenty of bridal showers, baby showers and monumental birthday celebrations. Lots of reasons to come home. And I always leave with a smile because Mom finds joy in the simple things. She loves her kids and grandchildren. Always feels they are her wealth. When I would get home from a visit Ronnie always asked, how is your mother and I would answer, EXCELLENT………….I wish I were more like her. He would laughingly say to me “Yes, I wish you were more like her too! You have said writing this blog is helping you deal with your diagnosis………………..however it is so beautifully written that it is helping everyone who knows you, family and friends.
    I love you, sister.


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