Moving On

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You haven’t read a blog post from me in a while, “a while” being a relative term. In my case, it’s been more than three years since my June 11, 2022 entry, A Bit Uncomfortable. What’s happened in the meantime? I have been living my life. It has been filled, but not necessarily fulfilling. I’ve worked in my chosen profession as a marketing communications professional. I’ve mothered two adult children. (Note, I’ve included the “adult” adjective, as I have to admit, my children are grown and they may or may not have benefitted from my mothering. I won’t be sharing the details here – you’ll have to ask them. Their lives, their stories.) For the last year, I’ve taken the leap into early retirement and am trying to figure out what that means.

I might be writing from a coffee shop or from my sunroom, but it will almost always be fueled with coffee, so I’m calling this series the Coffee Chronicles. Writers are told to write what they know. I spend so much time at Barnes and Noble that I notice when they move a promotional display, so I thought their cafe was a good place to get back in my writing groove. I don’t think writing about B and N marketing tactics will be a future post, but honestly, I don’t know what I will be writing about.

The gross negativity of the current political climate, the value of community to share the highs and lows of life, and my interest in using the gift of my writing ability have all been swirling around in my head. Ideas to use my talents to positively impact my corner of the world have been percolating. I aspire to write and share essays that will resonate with others. Creating posts for this blog will help me exercise my writing muscle, which as become flabby and limited to thoughts without action. I have a goal to get published to extend my reach, and this blog will provide the discipline I am lacking in my writing practice.

Although it was more than three years ago, the words I wrote in my proposed MFA graduation speech still resonate. Taking a chance, trying things that are a bit uncomfortable, and putting in the time to do your best – isn’t that what makes for a life well lived?

A year ago, I was employed at a local nonprofit, doing the work I love to do: using stories and other marketing communications tactics to help build brand awareness for the programs the organization offers to fulfill its mission. I loved the work, but was also stretched thin with limited resources and continual staff turnover. After watching yet another coworker leave, I began to ask myself why I was staying. I still loved the work, but the day-to-day was not as fun and rewarding as it had been for most of my career. I worried I was becoming that cranky employee that is never happy. Throughout my work life, I used to look at those people and wonder to myself, why don’t you move on?

I have been fortunate in my career to always feel as though I have been paid to learn. My days were varied, interesting, and challenging. Although my level of responsibility and compensation continued to grow, my priority in determining whether I was happy was in the who and what of the day-to-day, not in the number on the paycheck. And if I hadn’t already known that life is too short to be in a position that doesn’t fill you up, I learned firsthand, with first a cancer diagnosis and then a pandemic, that there are no guarantees. Our time on the planet is limited and every day counts. As part of a two-career household, I am fortunate to have flexibility, so I gave a month’s notice and never looked back.

That’s not completely true. I’ve looked back and second-guessed myself many times. Ten months later, I’m still uncomfortable using the term “retired,” choosing instead to say “I’m taking a sabbatical from full-time employment.” Some of my friends are retired or semi-retired, or have navigated the transition to a part-time consulting or volunteer gig. They all told me to give myself a year to clear my head, play, and think about what might come next.

I’m a strategist, a planner, a prepare-for-every-possibility-kind-of-gal, so hanging out having an extra cup of coffee in the morning, going on play dates with my retired buddies, and catching up on my reading has not been as easy as you might think. I live in New England, so the cold weather and snow makes our Bernedoodle puppy, Jaxon, extra happy. He thought my increased free time meant extra walks for him, which has filled part of each day. I have appreciated the stillness of the mornings on walks with him to think and start my day with a sense of possibility. As winter turned to spring, I enjoyed more time outside digging in the dirt in my yard and more time hiking and running with my friends. Our youngest is getting married in January, so I’ve also used much of this time to serve as unofficial event planning assistant to our daughter, helping with site selection and other details, relishing my upcoming role as mother-of-the-bride.

Although I’ve investigated a few possibilities, I’m telling myself I will wait until after the wedding to confirm my next step. So far, I’ve ruled out some of my previously thought-to-be dream gigs: remote worker (I miss the chitchat with coworkers at the copier), sales associate at Williams Sonoma (I don’t really want to know that much about nonstick pans), and school crossing guard (winter weather is right around the corner – need I say more?!)

Most recently, I discovered Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, which outlines a program for unblocking creativity and rediscovering your artistic talents. It’s meant for everyone, not just artists, moving the reader through a series of exercises to eliminate challenges and point you in the direction you’re meant to be headed. One technique is free writing each morning, which helped remind me about a big part of myself that’s been missing.

Taking a chance, trying things that are a bit uncomfortable, and putting in the time to do your best – isn’t that what makes for a life well lived? My thoughts from a few years ago are still top of mind. I don’t know where I’m headed, but I’m feeling more open to the possibilities and know that my creative self needs to lead the way.

Look for posts from me on various topics reflecting my day-to-day, my view, and my journey. I invite you to join me and share your thoughts with a comment about how you’re striving for a life well lived and how we may find ways to connect with each other. Let’s build a community of caring that extends beyond my sunroom and the Barnes and Noble cafe.

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. – Andre Gide

Jaxon, the Bernedoodle, serves as my editor, an exhausting job most days.