Things seem so vague right now. We had a big family gathering last weekend to celebrate my mom’s 90th birthday – it would have been a bummer to share anything until we know something more specific.
I’m a pretty transparent person. It helps me to process things by talking about them. Other than Don though, I’ve only told a few people at work and in my MFA program, mostly because my brain is scrambled and it’s starting to affect my day-to-day. We haven’t told anyone in our family yet.
Hosting my mom’s party was sort of an out of body experience. The party had been scheduled for months and everyone was happy to be together. I’m the youngest of five siblings, so there are a lot of us with children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. It was definitely a distraction, but it felt very weird not to be able to share what was happening with those that mean the most to me.
We also traveled to North Carolina to visit Don’s family for Thanksgiving and it was more of the same odd feeling. I was there, but not really there. We don’t really know much and don’t want to scare our kids and parents.
Our kids are grown, 26 and 23, but I don’t want them to worry. Same thing with my mom and Don’s parents. Why make anyone else feel the uncertainty we are feeling?